A Journey from Darkness – Week 1

I am not a morning person but am required to be on my A-game as early as 6 or 7. My breakfast of choice is a large black dark roast with 3 sugars. No time for food.

I see a lot of my colleagues eating protein bars, power bars and all kind of nut cluster looking things. I ask Cat if this is my destiny. I quickly learn that they contain the devil – sugar in many guises.

I have had some blood work done – running the gamut from blood type to a hormone panel.

Cat advises in my case (she is all about bio-individuality) that I am going to replace sugar with substance and work towards a real breakfast. This week I mastered a poached egg – this is huge for me.

I like this – nothing to radical. I am afraid if I go cold turkey I may have more emotional outbursts and I am out of second and third chances.

For the first 3 days I am lowering my sugar in the coffee by half. I am having 3 ounces of mixed proteins and multigrain which total 4 ounces.

I cannot believe that 11:00am passes all 3 of these days and I am still full.

My assistant asks me if I am dating someone. I believe I even cracked a smile – just a bit.

I have to eat before 1:00pm this week and schedule it in like an appointment. This is key for me.

I am thinking about chocolate a lot at lunch and am being entitled to one square of semi-sweet organic dark. I normally indulge in the Reese’s total lunch plan.

I have mixed greens (yes, yes – organic ones!) with 3 ounces of protein and 6 ounces of water at room temperature. I look lovingly at the chocolate square and eat it with half a banana.

On the first 4 days I make it to 5:00pm without any major issues – except Thursday where I slip and have coffee with one sugar. I started at 5:30am – so I think that is ok. I have to admit Thursday the old forked tongue almost got the better of me – but I do feel I was managing myself better overall.

Friday of this week was a fancy cocktail party and dinner. I don’t want anyone to know about this – so I do my best and drink water in-between 2 vodka martinis. I actually don’t eat very much and did not feel like all the wonderful truffles.

I am very tired though and leave early for sleep.

Saturday of week 1 – Cat tells me to listen to my body not my brain. She gives me no plan at all. I like this and I guess feel I can do what I want, but sadly I am not that interested in the ice cream offered to me by a friend in the heat of the day.

Since eating breakfast and protein, I am finding myself more tolerable in many ways I can’t really describe physically and mentally.

Sunday, I sleep in until 11:00am – and do not eat breakfast. Big Mistake. I fall victim to a cupcake at noon with 2 sugared lattes (2 of them!). I feel awesome and then crash and burn by 2:00pm.

I go back to my apartment and eat 3 ounces of protein as the back-up emergency plan instructed to me. I am ok again in about 40 minutes.

I drink water when I think of chocolate at 4:30pm, and this actually rejuvenated my mood.

Sunday night a vegan friend invites me over and is astonished that I don’t insult her offerings and almost enjoy it. She is startled when I take a photo of her hard work. My past insults (can’t blame sugar alone here) have pushed the boundaries of our friendship.

I go to a gym on the way home – where I have a membership but just don’t attend and weigh myself. I am down 3 pounds and did absolutely no exercise.

I feel a little hope, stability and desire to move to week 2. Overall my daytime energy and mood were better but I did go to bed earlier most nights.


Posted in Food Addiction, Health, Nutrition, Patient Stories, Well Being.

One Comment

  1. I find this so interesting…. I do not know if you edit it but it is still riveting because we don’t know what will happen next – kind of television like – in the best way.
    I never thought of my love of chocolate as an addiction but maybe it is.
    I hope that you are doing ok and truly hope your career stays in place during this transition.

    Looking forward to your triumphs and struggles towards freedom.

    Peace and love,
    Rita – Boss to 65 employees

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