A Journey from Darkness – Week 4

When we are children, we are forgiven a lot easier than when we are adults. I guess this has to do with the ramifications of our actions vs. those of a child. I realize that this is very metaphoric in how our body treats us in response to how we feed and keep it. I don’t like it. Sometimes I yearn for the simple years of childhood.

I am thinking these thoughts as I stand in a food store near my apartment while us New Yorkers prepare for Irene. I am debating the end of the world and how these candy bars are going as fast as water. I know, I know, I have a sugar addiction but so what if I die tomorrow? Then again, if they find me surrounded in chocolate, no one will believe I was really trying. Dilemma. I buy 5 just in case.

I leave the store. I text Cat and she fires back to give them to the homeless on the way home. Fortunately for me, that involves one person. I still have 4 beauties in my possession.

So, as you know by now, New York did not suffer to the wrath of Irene like many. I am thankful of this and now return to the days previous for my entry.

This past week I have work harder and been more focused than in the past couple of years combined. This is in part from fear of being fired, but I do feel that the diet has lifted a form of brain fog.

I have actually gone from walking to what I would classify as a light jog with bench breaks in-between. I hated it at first. Then on Tuesday, something miraculous happened. I was resting having built a profuse sweat from what most would laugh at – but then I heard a voice that said, “What do you run 5 or 10?”I looked up and the best looking guy I have seen outside of a model was smiling at me and then asked to sit down beside me. We talked for 5 minutes and he gave me his card and said, “No pressure, but if you ever want to progress in your running – call me.”

Made my day, even though I know I would never call.

Then Wednesday afternoon came. Another work meeting. This time, a former client was brought up which for my Boss puts me front and centre in her mind. It was a long, long afternoon.

I have been eating regularly and forcing myself to have breakfast. I will be honest – I skipped Thursday morning due to schedule and a poor sleep, but I feel it so instantly now, I had someone bring me an apple at the location I was working at.

Irene really determined the rest of my plans and majority of my time. No, I did not eat any of the chocolate bars, but I had ripped 2 open. I am now mastering simple healthy meals at night – some of which serve as lunch the following day.

I am not out of the woods yet by any means. I know that that persevering to the plan Cat made me is paying off in a realistic way to encourage me onward.

The rest is kind of up to me now. I will post more about my actual food intake next week. I really had too much mentally to put out there to show the internal struggle I am facing – because it is my trigger.

Posted in Belief Systems, Food Addiction, Health, Nutrition, Patient Stories, Thought Provoking.


  1. The food picture is amazing – did you make and take that? I would love to know what that is – it is making my mouth drool. I appreciate the frank honesty you are taking here. You sound like my kind of gal. We all make mistakes and are always given opportunities to do better. Be patient and be grateful. I had breast cancer 4 years ago – it taught me the lessons I should have already been aware of.

  2. Beautiful graphic! Hang in there. Work environments are toxic and turn us into poison. You should consider freelancing on your own terms. I don’t know if sugar removal alone will help you sweetie!

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