A Journey from Darkness – Week 4

When we are children, we are forgiven a lot easier than when we are adults. I guess this has to do with the ramifications of our actions vs. those of a child. I realize that this is very metaphoric in how our body treats us in response to how we feed and keep it. I don’t like it. Sometimes I yearn for the simple years of childhood.

I am thinking these thoughts as I stand in a food store near my apartment while us New Yorkers prepare for Irene. I am debating the end of the world and how these candy bars are going as fast as water. I know, I know, I have a sugar addiction but so what if I die tomorrow? Then again, if they find me surrounded in chocolate, no one will believe I was really trying. Dilemma. I buy 5 just in case.Continue reading

A Journey from Darkness – Week 3

I must admit that I feel very accountable writing this weekly diary of my struggle to all who care to read it. However, I am remiss to report this week I fell victim to some of my demons and a lot of the encouraging work I did seemed for not.

I am being pushed at work beyond my regular boundaries. I understand why. I get it. But, I almost feel like a contagious virus and everyone wants to steer away from me, despite 7 years of great work. The economy has not turned around and a loss of a client is unforgivable. But, is this my second chance or am I being forced to the back door? I digress…

I was not supposed to have sugar in my coffee this week. I needed a hit in each cup. I am still down to 1 which to me is a miracle regardless of the madness in and around me.

I did a no show for my appointment. I am billed in full for this. Enough said.Continue reading

A Journey from Darkness – Week 2

This week was a lot about changing the way I live, literally. Cat and I toured my tiny apartment, with a garbage bag in tow and got rid of a lot of things both food and emotion-trigger related.

I was given a list for the Container Store, Wholefoods, and wherever else I could score the appropriate deals for changing the way I use my kitchen and eat. I actually have my counter top clean and my table visible for the first time since moving in.

Is this all life-changing? Not really. But the reality is that none of us can or chose to take the time to plan out our day to day, so these issues start to stockpile and then – seemingly overnight – we are unhealthy, unhappy, and in my case, slightly overweight and slightly near-being fired!

Learning that how I live is a metaphor for how I look and act is an eye-opener…Continue reading